Procrastination

I'm terrible at starting things. And finishing them. And working on them once I've started but haven't yet finished. This is perhaps why I've play 29,135 games of solitaire since I started college. Hold on a second...make that 29,136. So, because I'm pressed for time, having spent most of my day playing solitaire and Googling things no one cares about, here is a list of my top procrastination tools:

1) Playlists

I can't start working without music, right? And for this paper/exam/whatever, I have very specific music needs, in terms of beat and type and lyrical content. So, I'll just spend the next 90 minutes composing a wonderful playlist, so that I may more happily do my work. The playlists are generally about 200 songs long, and though they are useful, I could do the same thing with the shuffle function.

2) Motivational Backgrounds and Posters

This one started way back in freshman year, when I started my collection of Johnny Depp posters. I cut out a piece of paper in the shape of speech bubble, on which I wrote something vaguely insulting yet motivational, along the lines of, "Stop staring at me and write your damn paper." Since then I've made speech bubbles for pretty much every poster I have that features a person, and then moved on to my desktop background. These can turn into huge time-sucks, because they require googling all the appropriate images, cropping them, adding text, deciding if I want one or a whole collage, etc.

3) Lists

I can't start until I know what I have to start. Right? And it really helps when I write it all down in a color-coded format, organized by date due, length, and type of assignment. Right?

4) Hygiene

Just because I have more work than it seems possible to complete doesn't mean that I should be a slob. Clearly, I need to keep up with my showering. And my nail polish is chipping. Must fix that immediately. Oh, and the room is so messy. I'll just have to completely cleanse it of all dust and old papers.

5) Nostalgia

I wonder what Creeper McCreeperson from high school is up to? I should look him up on Facebook. Also, I haven't looked at my yearbook in ages. Now is the time to go through it and read every page.

6) Food

This is not the time to deprive my brain of vital glucose! I simply must walk to Acme and buy food. Right now. Because the dining halls just aren't what I'm craving. Also, I should make some tea.

7) Solitaire and Minesweeper

Hours of my life, gone. Gone forever.

8) Internet

Again, my list ends with the internet. Because really, why do an assignment when I can look up the Christian Side Hug Rap, or Google With Kittens, or use Bacolicious? Or blog about how to procrastinate?